IC Inbox (thefarshore Edition)

[hattersgonnahat]

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Dedicated Snatcher Prank Call/Message Thread

[subconmodo]

February 16th, Voice Message

[subconmodo]

Hey kiddo! It's your BFF! Just wanted to let you know, I think I saw your parents! They got eaten by an Ayakashi. That sucks.

[click]

February 17th, Text

[subconmodo]

Hey kid, I know it's a little late, but it seems like a few valentines meant for you somehow ended up in my place. Don't worry though, I took care of them for you!

[Attached is a selfie of Snatcher in front of a bonfire. He's giving a thumbs up]

Text: Angra Mainyu; March 23?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Goody Two-Snatcher tells me you're working as his intern.

The way I see it, that's a waste of your talent. Therefore I, Overlord Zetta, am prepared to offer you a better deal: vassalage to the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos.

It's a way sweeter deal and involves no mail delivery or plumbing (unless we have a wacky sewer adventure, but that usually involves less tinkering with pipes and more excessive violence against poop monsters). It's way more suited to your talents and nature than lousy interning! As a bonus incentive, I won't even shame you for drinking meatball wine.

Think it over!

Text

[hattersgonnahat]

[This...well, this is something new.]

But, I don't work for him anymore. That was a while ago.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

That's not how he tells it! Besides, that should just make my offer all the more valuable!

[hattersgonnahat]

...I'm still trying to find some stuff, so I am kinda busy.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

What does that have to do with anything? It's not like being my vassal is a 24/7 job.

Also I'll introduce you to video games.

[hattersgonnahat]

You... You have some of those?

[Wait no, back on subject.]

It has to do with a lot! I need them to get home!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

So you should definitely be my vassal! So long as you serve loyally, you can borrow my minions and Prinnies to aid in your search. After all, a good Overlord looks out for his vassals!

And I have LOTS of video games.

[hattersgonnahat]

[A long thought about it.]

It would be some improvement over getting killed by the Snatcher all the time.

...But he is still my BFF.

[And yeah, no new employment was going to change either of those things. Some way or another.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

If he kills you, he has to answer to me! I won't let it happen!

But you can still hang out with him, I guess. I've seen stranger.

[hattersgonnahat]

He hasn't tried it recently, but it might mean he's planning something. [It is a new world after all, gotta come up with a whole new set of contracts.]

Can you really do that?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hmph. If he tries anything, all you'd have to do is let me know and I'll put him in his place. I won't allow a vassal of mine to come to harm!

[hattersgonnahat]

[...]

[That IS a pretty good incentive. Though, hmm...]

What is a 'vassal'?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Basically, you swear allegiance to me, and in exchange benefit from the power of an Overlord's protection and resources.

[hattersgonnahat]

But, don't I just gotta do things for you instead?

[Because that is usually how those sorts of deals go.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Sure, sometimes. No lame stuff like plumbing or mail delivery!

[hattersgonnahat]

What kind of things?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Like prayers, for example. I can't rely on minions all the time, and I don't have... you know, hands and stuff. So someone reliable to help me take on things like that is of use to me.

[hattersgonnahat]

Oh, I am supposed to do more of those too! I think it's supposed to make me a better god...or whatever.

So I guess we could work out something. [Just, not too sure about the whole vassal thing. Look she's been double crossed enough times now.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hyaaaha ha ha ha ha! I knew you'd see reason!

[hattersgonnahat]

So...Would I have to sign anything?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Naw, that's only if I'm trying to screw someone over.

[hattersgonnahat]

[...He actually is serious about this? Having no contract at all is pretty darn refreshing.]

It would be kinda nice not having to deal with those anymore.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

He was making you do contracts and stuff?

[hattersgonnahat]

Ugh, all the time! He kept finding really hard stuff for me to do so he could take back my soul, or whatever.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hmph. You get MUCH better results with vassals who CHOOSE to follow you.

[hattersgonnahat]

[Contemplates.]

I think he just likes to see me suffer.

[Because what else would the reason be? Joke's on him though when she survives through all of it.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Yeah, I got that impression about him.

[Zetta won't admit, and probably isn't even aware, that bringing Hat Kid onto Team Zetta is in large part to protect her from that jerk.]

[hattersgonnahat]

...But it was only until I got all my things to leave. I didn't think I would actually see him again.

[And on a whole new planet, no less.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Really.

Wow, that sucks for you.

[hattersgonnahat]

Well, it'll be fine once I get home. All of this was a setback.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hey! That's exactly what I keep saying!

You and I are gonna work out all right, kid.

[hattersgonnahat]

You think so?

[Because, that is good!]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You bet. If I can shake this book thing and get my body back, I'll be able to send you home, too. That's a fair reward for a vassal.

[hattersgonnahat]

[-!]

You can really do that??

If you can get me back to my spaceship, my actual one, I can take care of the rest!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Not a problem! In my full strength, I can easily travel to any universe I want!

[hattersgonnahat]

Any universe?

[And without any sort of vessel?? Is that safe?]

...That is a long distance. Wouldn't you get tired?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Naw. For one, they kind of overlap. For another, I can take my Netherworld with me.

[hattersgonnahat]

[That is pretty damn neat!]

[Thinking...]

How come you are a book now anyway?

[If he was this almighty being or whatever - move worlds, travel entire dimensions - it doesn't make any sense.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Someone sabotaged the Sacred Tome. I had to bind my soul to the book, or be destroyed.

[hattersgonnahat]

[That's...a little extreme reaction.]

Is there something important written in it?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Uh yeah, you could say that. It's the book that contains the records of everything that was, is, or will be! So if it gets destroyed, all those things get destroyed too!

Text from Romeo

[myblueskies]

Dear Skuld

You are invited to Gegute's library (Elfnein's temple) on the 29th of April for a party! It is going to be a book party so you can bring your best book or even dress up as your favourite character!
You can bring your shinki too if you want and any other friends! There will be tasty food to eat!
See you there!

Romeo and Elfnein